


Do You Want Me To Stay?

by PeachyQueeniee



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympic RPF
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Drama, F/M, Non-platonic sexual tension, Platonic Sexual Tension, Post-Sochi Angst, SMUTTY SMUT, Stars On Ice 2014 Angst, There’s probably romance too, sorry I like angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 15:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyQueeniee/pseuds/PeachyQueeniee
Summary: It’s post Sochi Winter Olympic Games and Tessa has had enough of the drama and tension between her and Scott. She disappears for a few weeks after a fight between them and reappears right on time for their partnership (and possibly more) to be tested again. Will their guilt fuel their anger and tear them apart? Or will their undeniable need for the other bring them closer? There’s only one way to find out. A Stars On Ice Tour.





	Do You Want Me To Stay?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Me again! I really need to utilize my time to do things other than come up with more fics to write but here we are. 
> 
> First of all, T and S have an amazing relationship and this is just an angsty fiction for entertainment purposes. Some things are exaggerated or fabricated, because FICTION, I am 99.9% this is not how things went down. But for dramatic effect, some things need some exaggeration and edge and sexual tension and gratuitous moments of passion (because I mean c’mon they started it). But anywayyy!
> 
> This one is very angsty and passionate and probably will be full of smut. If you are sensitive about any sexual content or anything, ummm, I have a cute little fic that is fluffy not smutty! But for those of you who are more into VM’s *cough cough* business partnership, this will have plenty of.....meetings. ;) Feel free to comment and freak out with me! Thanks for reading! xoxo. s.

Tessa and Scott had been running through some program components from Sochi that they had been marked down on when all of a sudden the conversation seemed to take a turn away from the steps and delved into more emotional territory. Scott is sensing that Tessa talking about him not being “here” isn’t really about the step sequence when he frustratedly says,

“Tessa, I’m right here.”

“No you’re not, Scott. That’s the thing. It’s like I’ve been holding the hand of a ghost.  
It’s like I can FEEL your presence, but underneath my fingers is nothing, it’s just air. And I’m floating. I’m just floating along, lost. Slipping in and out of your grasp.”

“Tess...no...no... just look at me.”

“What do you think I would see if I did? There is nothing in your eyes now that can make up for all those times that I searched them before and only felt disappointed. I search and search and search. For answers in your eyes. For hope that you might feel this way too. That you might look at me the way I look at you, and mean it. I search for proof In your eyes that you hate me being with other men as much as I hate seeing you be with other women. I search Scott. I search for proof that you love me the way I love you...the way I always have loved you. And do you know what I find?”

Scott refuses to give in to what she’s saying, still shaking his head no as if he could block out everything he’s hearing and make it disappear.

“Do you know what I find Scott?”

Tessa is almost yelling and Scott can’t seem to find the words he wants to say, and can’t seem to gain control of the rollercoaster that is shredding his heart right now. He knows exactly how he feels but he can’t seem to say it, and he curses himself over and over for running from her and his feelings. But he’s scared. So he hides it. He hides his heart. 

So he knows exactly what she finds when she looks in his eyes. 

“Scott...do you know what I find?”

Scott shakes his head slower this time, but can’t meet her eyes, afraid to hear what he knows she’ll say. He hears her voice crack anyway as she says, 

“Nothing. I find nothing.”

Scott lets out a noise that he can’t distinguish as anything other than a wounded animal, whimpering and breaking at the same time. Because really, what’s the difference. But Tessa has gotten herself worked up now and he know he deserves everything that she’s saying. He knows he deserves to hear the truth of all the pain he has made her face alone in their partnership. The pain and emotions she has faced and dealt with alone while he shoved his emotions down and buried his pain in other women. 

“Scott, I have been searching, and waiting, and forgiving everything you’ve done for years. And I come up with nothing. I come up empty-handed, with nothing to prove. Every single time. Every single day. Since I was seven years old. And I’m tired. I am so tired of holding out my hand and waiting for you to place your hand there as soon as you’re done with whichever girl was in your bed before practice. I did not sign up for a partnership with myself. But that’s what it has become. And I’m stronger for it so I thank you for that. As a stranger with memories, I thank you for letting me find my backbone and being a woman that can stand here on her own two feet and tell you that you fucked up.”

Scott’s strangled voice again tries to reach out to her,

“T. Tessa. Please. Don’t call me a stranger. Call me anything you want and I get it, I deserve it but not a stranger. I can’t... I can’t handle...I mean, c’mon, we’re not. Damn it, we’re not.”

He tries to grab her wrists and when she rips them away he shoves his hands in his hair practically ripping it out from his roots from his panic in the situation.

Tessa sounds older than her years when she sighs out of emotional exhaustion and says,

“Scott...if you can’t even properly be my partner on the ice, then I have no idea who you are.”

Seeing the shock and the pain whip across his face at the realization of the impact his radio silence and aloofness towards her has had, Tessa feels a twinge in her gut so strongly she knows she needs to create some space. 

“Listen, I don’t know what I want. Okay? I don’t know what to do about this. I’ve done everything I could think of to keep this going and keep us strong, but it’s your turn now. You need to decide what it is you want, and what you’re going to do about it. Because I am not going to wait around for you anymore. Not like this. So I’m going to go to my cottage for a little while, and you can do....I don’t know... whatever you want. You get to decide whether it’s my business or not. But for right now, I’m leaving. Goodbye Scott.”

She reaches out for one last squeeze of his hand, not knowing who needs it more. And then skates off the ice, pats the board twice, puts her guards on and goes into the bathroom and collapses. She’s not sure if the sobbing or the vomit came first but all she knows is that she wants Scott so badly, her body literally rejects the thought of her leaving him. Which is exactly why she thinks she needs to. At least for now. Until he decides whether he cares or not. 

Scott is leaning on the shared wall between the men’s and women’s bathrooms and can hear the noises coming from Tessa just a few feet away. 

The sounds of her sobs and her upheaval make him hate himself so much he can’t stand it. He just rocks back and forth silently screaming until he hears the sound of Tessa flushing the toilet and running the water, no doubt washing her face and cleaning off any remnants of the pain she just endured, alone. Again. Because of him. He waits again, after a few minutes he knows she has gathered her stuff and turned the lights off in the rink, assuming he already left. 

That’s when he lets out a cry and starts throwing things. His skates. His guards. His water bottle. Just everything he can get his hands on. He goes into the locker room and continues to throw things and scream. 

He knows he’s being reckless, and childish and knows Tessa wouldn’t approve. And hell, he doesn’t approve. But he’s so angry. So god damn angry. Not at Tess. Never at Tess. Even though he knows she always assumes it’s at her. But no. 

He’s angry at himself. For letting this happen. For being stupid enough to think Tessa, the brilliant, strong and incredibly capable Tessa, would put up with his crap forever. That she’d wait for him to be done playing games and shoving his feelings aside because he wants to party and he wants to escape everything that is this partnership. Even though he knows that’s not what he wants. He knows that she knows that’s not what he wants. At least he assumed she had known, but he should know her better. He should know she takes things personally. He should know she assumes it’s her fault. I mean he’s her partner right? At least he thinks he still is. So it’s his job. It’s always his job to know. To know Tess. So of course he should know she would put this all on herself and god, he practically dropped it on her himself. This could’ve been avoided. He could’ve avoided this. They could be together right now. They could be okay. 

“Idiot.” He says as he throws the remnants of whatever else was in his duffel bag against the opposite wall In the locker room. He thinks he must say, “idiot” to himself about a thousand times before finally slumping in a chair and falling asleep.


End file.
